We’ve teamed up with What to Expect UK to offer one TalkMum reader a What to Expect goodie bag (containing a DVD copy of the Hollywood blockbuster staring Cameron Diaz and J-Lo, a copy of the pregnancy book, and the workout DVD). Read more

TalkMum blogger Kiran is currently expecting her second baby, and is sharing her pregnancy journey with us here. At 28 weeks she is now just starting her third trimester; so how is she getting on? Make sure you also read her first update, all about being 25 weeks pregnant:

I’m suddenly 28 weeks and it feels like time is speeding up. In both this and my first pregnancy I felt like the first two trimesters dragged by. I was so excited about being pregnant that time seemed to slow down, teasing me into waiting for what seemed like ages to meet my child.

It seems now, however, like the last couple of weeks have flown by. Although I’m being treated as high risk because I developed pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome in my last pregnancy, everything is progressing really well. Knowing that I’m being closely monitored is helping me feel relaxed about things this time round – which I’m sure helps me and helps my baby.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve met a few mums who have a similar age gap between their children as I will have. My son will be not quite 19 months when his sister is born. I had been worrying about this constantly, but talking to others who had gone through the same thing and hearing how they coped has been incredibly reassuring.

In my head I had a long list of all the benefits. They included things like getting the sleep deprived years over with sooner, not changing nappies for as many years, siblings that could entertain each other and play together…. But I also had a longer list of the difficulties I imagined were ahead. That went something like this: Not getting any sleep at all for the next two years, not being able to co-ordinate their day naps, struggling to give enough attention to my toddler, finding that everyday activities, like going to the supermarket or eating lunch, suddenly resemble an episode of The Krypton Factor.

But meeting – mainly by chance – a few mummies who have just come out of the other side of the early years was more than reassuring, it was also inspiring. They all admitted that it had been hard, and that there had been unimaginably tough times as well as immeasurably wonderful times. Yet having your first newborn is like that isn’t it – and I’ve made it this far.

They all spoke with a pragmatism that perhaps comes with just having to get on with it. You do it, because there’s nothing else more important to you I guess, and then one day they’re already both at school. Read more

TalkMum blogger Kiran is currently 25 weeks pregnant with her second baby. In our new feature, she’ll be sharing her pregnancy journey with us, and writing all about the highs and lows of everything that happens along the way.

Make sure you also read her blog Hello Little Mister, and her TalkMum posts here:

I’m 25 weeks, and suddenly this feels real. We’re going to have another baby. My son is only 15 months old, so I’ve spent much of this pregnancy panicking a little about having two little ones less than 19 months apart. But it hasn’t felt real until now.

I guess for me hitting 25 weeks feels like a major milestone – more in some ways than the 12-week or 20-weeks scans. My pregnancy is also progressing well, so perhaps that is why the reality of having another baby is finally sinking in.

This pregnancy is so different from my first in almost every way. I’m relieved the almost constant nausea that plagued me the first time round until fourteen weeks didn’t resurface this time. Instead, I spent the first trimester incredibly fatigued. I would lie on the sofa while my little boy crawled around the lounge in front of me. I was too tired to get up.

That tiredness eased somewhat in the second trimester, but it is well and truly back. Perhaps having a high-energy toddler who must run everywhere all the time is just as much to blame as being pregnant though. Our sleepless nights (we are currently going through a particularly bad separation anxiety phase with teething thrown into the mix) also don’t help.

Perhaps the greatest difference though is the amount of monitoring I’m undergoing this time round. With my son, I developed pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome around 36 weeks. He was born healthy and happy at 38 weeks by emergency c-section, but I’m being closely watched now incase the illness returns. Recurrence rates vary between 5 and 80 percent, obviously a huge difference and very dependent on each individual case, but I’m feeling reassured that doctors aren’t taking any chances.

While all the signs so far are extremely positive, this pregnancy is feeling a little like having a part time job with lots of meetings scheduled. Between consultant appointments, blood pressure checks, extra scans to check my baby’s growth and my placenta function, and extra blood tests – I’m wondering how I’d fit all this in if I was working full time like I was the last time round.

On a more aesthetic note, I’m feeling huge. At 25 weeks I’m already about the size I was at 35 weeks last time, so I’m rather scared at how much bigger I’m going to get. I’m already feeling uncomfortable and I know that won’t get any easier – particularly with a little boy on my hip when he doesn’t feel like walking up the stairs.

I never really ‘glowed’ the first time round, and I’m certainly not exuding any pregnancy shine this time either. I have to admit that I find being pregnant hard and exhausting as well as exciting. But now that I’ve hit 25 weeks, I’m going to let myself focus on the excitement – hopefully it will help me cope better with the tiredness too! I’ll keep you posted.

Are you pregnant with your second baby; if so, how does this pregnancy compare with your first? And how do you juggle looking after your first baby along with all the midwife and medical appointments? We’d love to hear from you, leave us a comment to let us know.

Kiran blogs about parenting and motherhood at hellolittlemister.wordpress.com.

Discovering  that you are pregnant can be an incredibly emotional time. But what happens when you have a positive test when you’re not yet expecting it? Here Fozia discusses her feelings on finding out she was going to be a mum, and how scans helped her bond with her baby and make her look forward to motherhood:

When you find out you are pregnant, it is meant to be the most amazing thing that’s happened to you, and you are meant to feel this overwhelming love for this baby that is growing inside of you.

However I didn’t feel like that.

I had recently got married and immediately fell pregnant. It wasn’t planned and people around me made me feel like it was the wrong time, and I couldn’t cope.

‘You don’t have your own home yet.’

‘You can barely look after yourself.’ ( I am the youngest in the family and always treated like a child).

All this made me scared. What am I going to do? How am I going to cope? Can I really look after a totally vulnerable baby? I was just getting used to being a wife and now suddenly I was going to be a mum too. Read more

February has been all about what happens in the time after you give birth, and we’ve celebrated the highs and lows of the first few months as a new mum

To start the month off, our TalkMums shared the best piece of advice they’d give to new parents. What would yours be? Read more

As a mum-to-be, one of the first things you need to know is what you should and shouldn’t eat when you’re pregnant, as there are some foods which can be potentially harmful to both you and your baby. However, there’s so much conflicting information out there. Can you eat cheese? Shellfish? Raw steak? Here TalkMum blogger Fran discusses food to avoid when pregnant:

When I was pregnant for the first time, I became far more concerned about what I shouldn’t eat as opposed to what I should be eating.

I had a well balanced diet so had no worries about my nutrition and took Pregnacare pre-conception and throughout pregnancy (and whilst breast-feeding), so was happy with my vitamin intake and getting that all-important folic acid. However, the things to avoid seemed like an absolute minefield.

Initially it felt like I had to give up pretty much everything I enjoyed and I seemed to be forever Googling to see if something was on the banned list.

Following some research I reassured myself that not everything was a threat to an unborn baby. I differentiated between what could make me ill (it’s easier to get food poisoning when pregnant and the effects are exaggerated) and what could potentially harm an unborn baby. What follows are foods that are in the latter category.

Listeriosis
Anything that can contain listeria bacteria can cause listeriosis. This infection in pregnant women can cause severe illness in a newborn and can even lead to miscarriage or stillbirth.

To avoid this bacteria don’t eat mould-ripened soft cheeses or soft blue-veined cheeses. This includes: Brie, Camembert, Chèvre, Danish blue, Gorgonzola and Roquefort. All types of pate are off the menu for the same reason.

That said, you could have any of the cheeses above if they are thoroughly cooked through (ie piping hot). For example if they form a pasta filling or come as a hot sauce; you can even indulge in a baked Camembert.

Toxoplasmosis
Toxoplasmosis, caused by a parasite, is fairly common and you may have already had it without even knowing it. However, if contracted when pregnant it can cause problems such as blindness and brain damage. The parasite can be found in undercooked or raw meat, so make sure meat is well cooked and, in the case of red meat, there is no pink showing. It can also be found in cured meat such as salami and Parma ham; and in unpasteurised goats’ milk.

Mercury
High levels of mercury can harm a developing baby’s nervous system. Therefore don’t eat shark, swordfish and marlin. Tuna consumption should be limited. However, anything up to four medium-size cans in a week is fine (or two steaks). For the same reason you shouldn’t have more than two portions of oily fish a week (fresh tuna, mackerel, sardines and trout).

Vitamin A
Too much vitamin A can damage the development of cells in foetuses and lead to conditions such as Spina Bifida. Aside from not having any supplements containing vitamin A (Pregnacare doesn’t), you should avoid eating things like liver.

Peanuts – back on the menu
When I was pregnant with my first daughter I experienced an energy slump on my way back from work and devoured a Snickers bar in five seconds. I then realised with horror that peanuts were iffy at best and a no-no if there was a family history of allergies such as hay fever, asthma or eczema. No damage was done and now the advice to avoid them has been revised.

Did you find it easy to give up these foods when you were pregnant, or was there anything you really missed?

Francesca De Franco
A blogger and Hubber on some of her favourite subjects, which range from parenting, food and wine to Italy, investing and football; some of Fran’s writing can be viewed at: http://francescad.hubpages.com

Definition: Middle English, perhaps imitative of closing one’s lips

You’ll notice that this post is anonymous. The reason for this is not because I’m embarrassed to be expecting a baby. It’s because at work, nobody has told my clients yet.

As any of you who work in a consultancy or services industry may also be feeling, despite the many policies, promises and precedents that have been set, you taking maternity leave might be viewed as “strategically” awkward for your firm by management.

You might have got the feeling, like me, that by getting pregnant, you’re jeopardizing client relationships because clients will be annoyed by the lack of continuity? Perhaps you’re being made to feel that you’re creating work for others?

So, by using the old Grace Kelly Hermes trick combined with some creative scarf arrangements, you glide into client meetings and get behind the meeting table before they do.

But let’s get real here shall we? This blog is about our health, so a quick ‘head wobble’, as my sister would say, is required.

Once both sides are over the initial “WTF shall we do?” moment, and the dreaded “she’s going to be leaving us for a while” conversation has occurred, things will settle quickly.

You’ve probably worked with women who’ve got pregnant before? When they went on leave, did the business grind to a halt? I doubt it. Clients are women, parents and professionals. They know that pregnancy happens and they trust suppliers to put their best available team on the job. This will happen.

Your absence will create more opportunities for junior colleagues to shine as they pick up your work. Senior colleagues will maintain an even keel. Clients and colleagues wish you and your baby well, but the world keeps turning, and it’s not worth us worrying ourselves sick about in these last months before leave.

So what should we do? Make suggestions, leave a clear path, compliment your successor and build your client’s confidence.

So even though it feels a bit silly ignoring what, by the mid-point of the second trimester, most people can see, I suggest making it less stressful by leaving the communication of your news to your managers. In a way, it’s their business, not yours.

This week on TalkMum we’re focussing on pregnancy in the media. Our resident mum- blogger Catherine, gives us her views on the portrayal of pregnancy in our newspapers and magazines…

Fact – celebrities are big business

If we weren’t so interested in other people’s lives, magazines that show celebrities wouldn’t exist as there just wouldn’t be a market for them.

Over recent years celebrity Mums seem to be everywhere. Magazines love showing photographs of celebrity Mums out and about with their families. The manufacturers of baby products must love the free publicity and I can almost see them rubbing their hands in glee as a major celebrity is shown with their new pram, baby carrier or accessory. Having a star with their product must boost sales no end and is the sort of free advertising every company must wish for.

Magazines have pages dedicated to copying a celebrity’s style. A picture of a pregnant celebrity is often shown along with where you can buy the clothes from. Usually these clothes are expensive and way out of our price range! Celebrities always seem to look good, even when pregnant but then they have the money to go and buy whatever clothes they like. Most people I know have a budget and need to buy maternity clothes that can be worn for a number of different occasions. I used to buy basic black maternity tops and team them with jeans for the weekend and a smart skirt for work. I used brightly coloured necklaces to try and make them look different. My “capsule maternity wardrobe” was packed away after my first son and then came out again for number two. Four years later fashions had changed but having bought wisely first time round I just added different accessories to bring them back up to date. I can’t imagine many celebrity Mum’s storing their maternity clothes for number two as with the amount of publicity they receive they must also feel under pressure to always look good and be fashionable.
Whilst I looked at the articles in the magazines, I felt no pressure at all to copy celebrity styles but I’m sure there are lots of women out there who see these articles and then rush out to buy whatever their favourite celebrity is wearing.

I do feel the media are portraying an unrealistic image with all the coverage they give to celebrity Mums. No sooner have these celebrities given birth than they are seen out pushing the pram having lost all their baby weight in a couple of weeks. This isn’t the real world! These Mums can afford a personal trainer and probably also a nanny to look after their child whilst they work out!

New mums shouldn’t feel under pressure to be like a celebrity as losing weight should be done by eating sensibly and exercising. Most people I know realise that whilst they might dream of losing weight as quick as Victoria Beckham, it just isn’t going to happen!

What are your thoughts on the way celebrity Mums are featured in the media?