This week on TalkMum, we’re looking at second pregnancies and how they differ from first time around. Our blogger Natalie shares her touching story about how she coped when her second son was unexpectedly born with hip dysplasia.
Everyone tells you that no two pregnancies and no two children are the same but nothing could have prepared me for the massive differences between mine.
I was struck down with really bad morning sickness with both pregnancies, but second time around I was more relaxed about things. I had a private midwife who was with me from my first antenatal class to delivery which may have helped. I also made sure my first son knew a baby was coming, kitted out a new nursery, got a double buggy and read ‘The Next Step’ by Gina Ford and thought I was ready to go.
My second labour was a breeze – especially compared to the trauma of the first – and little Lucas just ‘popped out’. However no one could have been prepared for the challenges we faced once he was here and none of my planning made life any easier.
My beautiful second son was born with hip dysplasia and in his three short years he has had scans, x-rays and two major operations. He spent nearly a year incarcerated in plaster from nipple to toe with a stick between his legs. I found the whole situation totally heart breaking and wouldn’t wish this on any other family; I’ve cried, shouted and mourned for the baby I didn’t get, I’ve had people make comments like ‘it’s not like he has cancer’ and stare at him when he was trussed up in plaster!
As a family I think that this has made us stronger and I am so proud of my son coping with a hard start to his life. I am lucky that my first son is such an easy going, happy little boy who hasn’t been jealous of the extra attention his brother has had and if anything it has made the two of them closer.
I do think that Lucas is more willful (aka difficult!) because of what he has been through, but it has meant he has come out a fighter and in June we are back for a third operation to take out the pins and screws that were fixed to support his hip.
All I know, is that when you have children, whatever they might have wrong with them, you want to love and protect them and you give them all the best start you can, whatever life throws at you.