This week on TalkMum, we’re channelling the girl scouts and talking about the importance of being prepared! So how do you prepare for the big day? TalkMum blogger Cath shares her essential hospital bag checklist with us.

Image from Penelope on Flickr (http://bit.ly/JORj6Q)

When I came to pack my hospital bag before I had my first son, I followed a list in a parenting book. I had everything I needed for the birth but there were a few extras that I wished I had taken!  Rather than giving a list of necessities that can be found on every parenting website, magazine or parenting book I thought I would list my essential products.

• Facial wipes – these are great for refreshing your face during labour.
• A magazine or book – I had to stay in hospital for a few days after I had my son and I found that when my son was asleep the time really dragged and a book or magazine would have helped to pass the time
• Lip balm – I found my lips went very dry when I was in hospital and a lip balm kept them moisturised
• An old t shirt – Giving birth is messy so an old t-shirt is perfect as it can be thrown away after you have given birth. Save your nice pyjamas for when you are back on the ward!
• Healthy snacks – I was very hungry after giving birth and having my own snacks meant that I could eat something tasty when I needed it. I took cereal bars, nuts and dried fruit to snack on.
• Flip Flops – My feet swelled such a lot in my first pregnancy and I ended up wearing Dad’s flip flops as they were the only shoes that fitted me! I took flip flops rather than slippers as I could wear them for walking round and I could also wear them in the shower.
• A maxi dress – If you are anything like me you go into hospital with a massive bump and clothes that are bursting at the seams. Whilst you don’t lose all the weight instantly your tummy is much smaller when you leave and the clothes you wore to come to hospital may be way too big. A maxi dress is great as it is comfortable and you won’t run the risk of your trousers falling down as you leave!

What are your essential hospital bag items?

Being pregnant, especially if you are expecting your first baby is an exciting time. There is a lot to think about and a lot to prepare before you meet your little bundle of joy.  Julie Greatwood who is an antenatal teacher with Birthmatters shares some of her tips with us.

When preparing for birth, the first tip that I would give anyone is to book onto a local antenatal class in your local area where you know you will meet other pregnant women and their partners.

These classes are not only invaluable at giving you the information you need in preparation for parenthood but you meet other likeminded people who are going on the same journey as you. These people often offer you lots of great support along the way.

Explore the options of where to give birth in your local area. You have lots of options open to you from homebirth, to stand alone birthing units through to birthing in a large hospital. Book a tour of your local units as soon as you can. Where you choose to give birth can have a very big effect on the sort of birth you will have so be sure you have chosen the right place for you.

It is also important for you to prepare your body and mind for labour and birth. Doing pregnancy yoga is an excellent way to prepare your body for the breathing and relaxation needed in labour. Pelvic floor exercises are important in maintaining the strength of your bladder after the baby is born.  Massaging the perineum in the last few weeks of pregnancy helps to prevent tearing in the second stage of labour.

You may find it useful to write a Birth Wish list (I don’t call it a plan). If you write down how you would like your labour to be in an ideal situation, the midwife can use this to help you achieve the birth you would like. However, make sure you are flexible and think of alternatives if something changes that you don’t expect.

Remember it is your labour and make sure you are happy with the decisions you make. Use your ‘BRAINS’ and always ask the Benefits, the Risks and the Alternatives of any course of action that may be suggested to you. Trust your Instincts and know that sometimes it may be okay to do Nothing – and Smile!

Think about who you would like to accompany you in labour and choose someone who makes you feel relaxed and calm. Ask whether you can have more than one person to accompany you. Research shows that continuous support in labour, provided by a person other than the womans partner can have a strong positive effect. The additional person could be a friend or a relative or you could consider hiring a Doula to accompany you.

Be prepared for the day, with lots of useful things packed in your labour bag and make sure that you limit the number of visitors you have. Most new parents want to show off their new baby but it is a good idea to space out visitors or have an open morning. Don’t do all the work when visitors come – get them to make their own refreshments and make sure they bring something with them for your dinner!

Julie Greatwood is an antenatal teacher covering Marlow and High Wycombe in Buckinghamshire. She works for the company Birthmatters that provides Local Antenatal and postnatal education to women in the Bucks and Berks area. If you want to find out more about Birthmatters visit their website, ring Julie on 07884 428567 or come along to one of their free Early pregnancy classes.

The NHS is never too far from the British peoples thoughts. It’s debated almost daily in Parliament, the papers and the park. This should come as no surprise, as most of us were born in an NHS hospital and plan to have our own children in one. TalkMum blogger Sonia fills us in on how she feels about giving birth on the NHS.

You hear stories about the state of foreign hospitals and the cost of private health care in other countries. When you compare this to Britain, there isn’t really a comparison in my eyes. Yes I know we have the option to pay for private health care in Britain, which I have never done, but that is because we have a great service available to us – for free! (Kind of…)

What we pay our taxes for, one of the many reasons we work so hard throughout our adult lives, is to have services available to us. Services such as fire fighters, police, and ambulance services and of course your doctor, midwife and nurses at the hospitals.

Coming from a family that cannot afford to pay for private health care, I have little option other than to use the NHS and to get my health care from my GP, midwife and local hospital. But I do have to say that I find their service to be really good and sometimes great. Only on a few occasions have I felt let down by the NHS. One of those times was simply because the midwives were over stretched at hospital when I went in to give birth with Noah. I couldn’t use the birthing pool, but I was still looked after by midwives and doctors and Noah was brought into the world.

I cannot imagine living abroad and having to worry about all the things that we simply do not need to worry about in this country. I know our hospitals are tidy and looked after (they are really well kept compared to other countries) and I know that I do not need to pay extra for operations, having my children and the security of knowing that I will walk into our hospital with my 2^nd bump and walk out with, hopefully, a newborn baby and that they will do everything in their power to make that a reality is something you simply cannot put a price tag on!

I cannot imagine living abroad and having to worry about all the things that we simply do not need to worry about in this country. Our hospitals are tidy and looked after (they are really well kept compared to other countries) and I do not need to pay extra for operations or for having my children. This and the security of knowing that I will walk into our hospital with my 2^nd bump and walk out with, hopefully, a newborn baby is something I simply cannot put a price tag on!

Britain is in the spotlight this week, the Queen is celebrating her birthday and London will be playing host to thousands of marathon runners. With all this attention, what better time to consider what it means to be a British mum. For Jax, being a British mum made her think about what other mums and children around the world don’t have.

I’ve given birth four times now in Britain, three times at home. Each of those was a chosen and supported homebirth, with a midwife there throughout labour and a second for the arrival of baby. The midwives are equipped with all sorts of kit and kaboodle – oxygen to resuscitate a baby, gas and air to make me comfortable. If anything goes wrong, a hospital is a short ambulance ride away, with all the expertise and equipment we take for granted.

Recently I’ve had a scare with baby no four – he was still jaundiced at four weeks old, and then slowed his weight gain, so we were referred to hospital for investigation. I endured an agonising wait of over four hours, desperate to find out if there was anything wrong with my child. The treatment we received, while more than adequate medically (a range of blood, urine and stool sample tests done, all within 48 hours), fell below the standards we expect and should receive, to the extent that even my health visitor has recommended I complain.

And again, we take it all for granted; the expertise which is there, round the clock, free at the point of delivery, and that I can complain when the experience isn’t quite what we feel we should have.

We are so lucky to have all of this, no matter how much we complain about it. At the moment there’s a campaign starting across blogs and twitter, beginning with the mummy bloggers, to support the Save the Children Build it for Babies campaign. It’s raising money for women and babies in Bangladesh so that they can have a fraction of what we take for granted.

What do you take for granted about life as a mum in Britain? What will you do for mums around the world that don’t have what we have?

One in four babies in the UK is born by caesarean section. So what does this mean for your tummy muscles and how do you go about reducing your belly after pregnancy? TalkMum expert Wendy Powell shares her advice.

I had a C-Section. Weren’t my muscles cut?

Layers of tissue are cut, and then sewn back together, which creates scarring through multiple levels of tissue of your abdominal wall. This scarring affects the muscles’ ability to glide over the top of each other during muscle contraction. The result is weakness and a lack of stabilization. But take note: your muscles have not been cut. The 2 parts of the rectus muscle (vertical, six pack outermost abdominal muscles) was further parted manually to get to your baby.

But whilst muscles have not been cut, ligaments and fascia have been, and this all takes time to heal. The more you can ‘connect with’ and use your deep core muscles, the quicker recovery will be.

Scar tissue and adhesions can cause a tummy overhang, and body fat may appear to be unevenly distributed around your middle. Stress, lack of sleep and a lack of sensation or confidence with your stomach (factors all common to most new mums!) will make this worse.

If you have had one or more Cesarean births, or other abdominal surgery, then there may also be scar tissue or adhesions exacerbating your mummy tummy. Massage (just rub the skin gently between your fingers around the scar) will help to break down scar tissue, encourage oxygen flow in, and toxin flow out of, the area which will aid healing.

Don’t try to get up from lying on your back – always roll to your side first. And don’t – under any circumstances, not now or in the future – do sit ups or crunches!

In the early days, massage, mobilize, and find your deep muscles, eat clean fresh food to recover and nourish your body, try to get plenty of sleep and love your body a little. Healing and restoring these muscles is the vital foundation of a flatter tummy again, so don’t even consider anything more strenuous until your body has learnt how to use them again!

Wendy is a qualified personal trainer who specialises in pre and postnatal fitness. For more information and free reports and video, visit www.mutusystem.com

To celebrate mother’s day this week, we’re talking about the different ways in which our loved ones come into the world. TalkMum blogger Jax tells us what it’s like having the birth at home.

Building up to the birth of my fourth child, I was surprised by how nervous I was. It’s only just over two years since I had my third child and although it was a straightforward home birth, I had perhaps too clear a memory of the painful bits to be entirely comfortable about the idea of going through it all again.

Nevertheless, I wanted to give birth at home again – or I did once I was told that my age mandated a consultant involvement and the medical birthing ward. I’m not good at being told what to do so I checked with the midwife that there was no medical reason for the decision other than my birthday arriving before birthing day and when she professed herself happy to go the homebirth route, that’s what we planned.

However I didn’t plan for it to all happen somewhat early…

I wasn’t organised. I’d wanted to arrange a tens machine, (which I’d used successfully in both of the first two births, but hadn’t managed to find for the third). In the event, I got an email about it the morning after the birth occurred! It turned out my little boy couldn’t wait; what I thought were strong Braxton Hicks were actually the start of labour and my body trying to turn the little person inside a better way around for birth.

It didn’t happen. From waters breaking to baby appearing was around 5 hours. The first couple were manageable moving about, first of all walking, then kneeling and moving my hips around. Gradually though I got tired – probably not helped by all this taking place in the middle of the night. Eventually I got to the point where the canister of gas and air looked really attractive. It wasn’t something on offer when I had my first homebirth, but I had a tiny bit at the end of birth number three, and this time I really don’t know how I’d have managed without it.

My midwife told me afterwards that this was because baby wasn’t a good way round for being born. She was fantastic throughout – calm, supportive, encouraging. She rubbed my back, putting pressure on where it really helped and encouraged me to change position on to all fours which I think made all the difference to being actually able to give birth at home. In the end it felt like it was a good birth with only two or three pushes needed to actually get the baby out – and that sound, of a crying baby is the best reward in the world for all that effort. At that moment I stop feeling tired, forget all the pain and all I want is my baby in my arms.

Welcome to the world little one.

Jax is a home educator, blogger, and sometime geek. She has children, books, phones and lots of words in her head. Read her blog: Making it up

Everyone that has had a baby – both mother and father – will most certainly have their fair share of birthing stories. But for first time mothers, how can you possibly know what to expect? TalkMum blogger Sonia fills us in on the details of her first birth story.

The birth of my first child did not go to plan, to say the least! However, I’m now pregnant with my second (due in 7 weeks’ time) and it has given me a good idea of what to expect this time round. Right from the word go you are advised to think about your plan; your antenatal classes try to prepare you for what you are going to go through, but barely anyone I know had a birth plan that was followed.

My plan was simple, I was a healthy mum-to-be, no problems during pregnancy and I wanted a water birth. The hospital that I was assigned to has a midwife-led unit and 2 birthing pools. I was told they were very popular but I should have a good chance to getting in one when the time comes. Having a water birth meant that I couldn’t have pain relief, except gas & air, but I was adamant that this was the way I wanted to go forward.

When the time did come around, I was a week overdue but I was told I could still use the birthing pool and try to stick to my plan. At 6pm, my contractions started quite quick and fast and I was told to take paracetamol and try having a bath at home. The paracetamol did not do a thing for the pain and the bath made me feel really uncomfortable – which did not bode well for the birthing pool idea!

I spent the rest of my time at home on my birthing ball. The birthing ball helped with the pain because it put me in a comfortable position, allowed me to bounce gently through each contraction and it meant I could sit in the lounge and grab onto the coffee table, which also helped the pain!

How would I describe a contraction?

To me, it felt like a Chinese burn across the tummy that started off not hurting very much and built up to a heightened pain and then wore off again. It made my body stiff each time – I had to grip something. At 9pm by the time I had got to hospital and my waters had broken I was having very regular contractions.

As I still felt the same kind of pain, I sat upright on the hospital bed and wrapped my legs around the bed legs (sounds impossible I know!). I was told the birthing pools were not available because they were short staffed – but bearing in mind I felt uncomfortable in the bath, it was probably a good thing!

Gas & air really did help, but around 11:30pm I had a pethadine injection because they told me I was too rigid and I wouldn’t let go of the bed legs and loose that grip. They wanted me to relax a bit more, but I just couldn’t. The pethadine did help and I can describe it as feeling very drunk; I could hear people and process the situation but I can’t remember everything about what went on.

The last couple of hours were a bit of a blur because of the pain relief. I know that Noah was a little trapped by his cord and it took some ‘tugging’ from the paediatrician to get him out. The forceps did not work because they could not get them around his head so they ended up using a vontouse cap. This meant I had an episiotomy – and I can say now it did NOT hurt at the time (this was one of the main things I was scared about). Finally, at 1:03am baby Noah was born into the world!

So what would I advise for all you first time mothers?

• Be sure to read about all of the different options
• Be very prepared for your birthing plan to go out of the window
• Know that whatever happens, you are in the best place and in the care of the people that know the best. After all, they see births happening every day, from the ones that go swimmingly – to the ones that do not.

Parent of a young toddler and pregnant with her second child, Sonia has a lot of useful hints and tips, advice and support for other mums and mums-to-be. Read Sonia’s blog: MummyConstant

This week to celebrate the approach of Mother’s Day, we’re talking about that moment when our children come into the world. Everyone’s birth experience is different but reading others’ stories can give you some idea of what to expect. Here, TalkMum blogger Cath tells us about the birth of her eldest child…

I was 5 days overdue when I went for a routine hospital appointment. The nurses checked my blood pressure and found it was very high –  so I needed to be admitted immediately! This threw me into a panic as I had gone to the appointment on my own and certainly wasn’t expecting to stay in hospital. I really wanted my husband to be there so I asked if I could go home, get my hospital bag and get my husband to bring me back. They said as long as I was back in an hour then that would be OK. I dread to think how much further my blood pressure increased whilst we were arranging all this!

After a frantic phone call to my husband (who fortunately only works 20 minutes from home), we were back at the hospital an hour later.

For the rest of the afternoon I was connected up to a blood pressure monitor and was monitored every 30 minutes. By the evening, the doctor decided to induce me. However, when I was examined the doctor discovered I was already 3cm dilated – so they left me to see how my labour progressed.

The following morning my husband arrived at 8am as I was due to be taken to the delivery suite first thing but after a couple of other emergencies we made it there by lunchtime. I was examined again by the midwife who decided that she would break my waters to start my labour – a rather uncomfortable but not painful experience. I was also hooked up to a hormone drip to help speed things along.

My labour progressed well – I spent a lot of time pacing the room and rocking backwards and forwards on a rocking chair. The rocking chair really helped me manage the contractions and is not something I would have thought of using – but it worked!  I started using just gas and air however the contractions started to become very painful and the midwife suggested an epidural which I agreed to. It was such a relief to escape from the pain – I could still watch my contractions on the monitor but I wasn’t in pain anymore.

At 10pm I was fully dilated and listened to the midwife as she told me what to do. The epidural was wearing off but she advised not to top it up so that my labour could progress and I would know when to push.

By this stage, I was very tired and it felt like it was lasting forever!  Meconium was spotted and the midwife became concerned – if the baby breathes it in during the birth, it can be harmful. They decided that it would be best to try the ventouse (a kind of vacuum device) to try and get him out quickly.  As you can imagine, it was quite scary having all these people around me, but I was also confident that they knew what they were doing and I just had to trust them.

The nurses tried twice with the ventouse but it didn’t work, so they said it would be best to try a forceps delivery. This meant they needed to cut me to make room for the forceps which wasn’t pleasant, but as I’d had the epidural I didn’t feel anything. The process was carried out quickly and then at 12.20am my 9lb 4oz son was delivered! Whilst I was sore and exhausted, my son was absolutely perfect and made it all worth it!

When you’re recovering from childbirth, the first thing on your mind will naturally be caring for your new bundle of joy. However, when you’re home from the hospital don’t forget that in order to be a great mother you need to take good care of your health.

Physical health

Pregnancy and birth obviously put a lot of strain on your body. When you’re recovering from childbirth, remember to take things slowly and get as much sleep as possible. This means pacing yourself and accepting help from friends and family with those household chores.

Your doctor will talk to you about the changes your body will go through, but you can expect to face some physical challenges over the next few days and weeks. You will have discharge called ‘lochia’ as the tissue and blood that lined your uterus during pregnancy are no longer required. As well as feeling constipated, with swelling in your legs and feet, you may also experience cramps, especially if you are breastfeeding.

Make sure you are looking after your health by keeping your feet elevated to prevent swelling and following your doctors orders about how much exercise you should be doing. Of course, make sure you drink plenty of water and eat lots of fruit and vegetables too!

You should lose about 10lbs straight away as your fluid levels decrease. However, don’t try to go on a diet and lose lots of weight straight after giving birth – the safest approach is to introduce a healthy eating program approved by your doctor. Remember, it’s much more important to be strong and full of energy for your newborn baby than to be drained and tired due to not enough food. For more information, check out the advice from our fitness expert, Wendy Powell.

Emotional health

If you feel blue when you’re recovering from childbirth, just remember – you are not alone! Your emotional health can be thrown into disarray with worrying about your new baby, lack of sleep and all those hormones.

It may be worth thinking about joining a support network and meeting other new mums in a similar situation to yourself. Often, just talking about your feelings can remove a lot of pressure.

However, if you have continued feelings of sadness after birth, don’t keep it to yourself. Post natal depression may hinder your bond with your baby and can even slow down his/her development. So visit your doctor who can reassure you and refer you to therapy sessions if necessary.

By looking after your physical and emotional health, you can ensure a healthy recovery after childbirth and look forward to being a new mum.